How to never lose an argument.

Before you get to yelling , read this.

The goal of an argument is to change someone's belief or perspective on a topic. However the method that the majority of people use is not only ineffective, but harmful to your relationship with others. If you want to harm your relationships and make the other person reject your point even more look no further than the popular method: get loud, dont hear the other person , attempt to make them look stupid, make them lose face, criticize. Let me tell you about a time when my horrific method of influencing people led to a loved one not only disregarding my perspective, but raising in them feelings of hatred and discontent.

I was all about eating healthy and exercising, so much so that I let those thoughts protrude out. Often times I would hassle my brother and argue, who, keep in mind, is my biggest supporter, to work out constantly and always raise concerns about his weight. Of course, he always responded negatively, saying things like "Leave it be, Eli" or "How could you say that?". Every time I criticized him, it always seemed to leave us both worse off, no matter how many times I did it. After much processing, I realized that I was wrong for what I said. Someone once told me that it's not what you do but how you do it. There must be a better way.

So, what is the best method of arguing? Well, it's simple, really—the best method of arguing is not arguing at all. This is not a new concept. In the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, he observes the many ways to use communication effectively. No one wins an argument because you leave it divided when you wanted to influence them. Here are 15 key takeaways from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.

1. Show genuine interest in others: To win friends and influence people, you must demonstrate sincere interest in other people's lives, opinions, and concerns. Be a good listener, ask questions, and show empathy.
2. Smile and be approachable: A warm and genuine smile can go a long way in creating a positive impression and making others feel comfortable around you.
3. Remember and use people's names: Remembering and using someone's name in conversations makes them feel valued and respected, fostering a stronger connection.
4. Avoid criticism and condemnation: Instead of criticizing or condemning others, focus on understanding their perspectives and offering constructive feedback when necessary.
5. Give honest appreciation and praise: Compliment others for their achievements and efforts genuinely. Sincere praise can boost their self-esteem and strengthen your relationship with them.
6. Be a good listener: Listening actively and attentively is key to understanding others' needs and concerns. Avoid interrupting and give them the space to express themselves.
7. Talk about others' interests: Tailor your conversations to revolve around topics that interest the other person. This shows that you value their preferences and opinions.
8. Admit your mistakes: Don't be afraid to admit when you're wrong. Taking responsibility for your errors can actually enhance your credibility and integrity.
9. Encourage others to talk about themselves: People enjoy talking about themselves and their experiences. Encourage them to share their stories, and you'll foster a deeper connection.
10. Avoid arguments and be diplomatic: Arguments rarely lead to positive outcomes. Instead, maintain a diplomatic approach, find common ground, and seek resolution without damaging relationships.
11. Understand others' perspectives: Empathize with the feelings and viewpoints of others, even if you disagree. Understanding where they're coming from can lead to more productive discussions.
12. Begin conversations in a friendly manner: Starting conversations on a positive note sets the tone for a more enjoyable and productive interaction.
13. Use praise and encouragement effectively: Praise should be sincere and specific, while encouragement can motivate others to continue their efforts.
14. Let others save face: Avoid embarrassing or belittling people, and if a mistake is made, handle it privately and respectfully.
15. Be genuinely interested in others' success: Celebrate others' accomplishments and support them in their endeavors. Being a positive influence in their lives will strengthen your relationships.

By applying these principles, you can improve your interpersonal skills, build lasting connections, and positively influence those around you. Remember, the key is to be genuine, respectful, and focused on adding value to others' lives.